His pubic hair was longer than his dick
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
