So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
