I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
