Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
