What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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