Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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