Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
