Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
