before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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