We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
