I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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