I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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