if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
