You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
