For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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