I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
