He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
