In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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