21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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