did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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