Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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