Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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