Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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