So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Randomize
