Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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