I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
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