Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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