Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
