May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
my poor anus
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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