look no pants
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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