yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Randomize
