it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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