Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
