I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
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