If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
