i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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