Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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