he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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