i jhust puked up my retainher.
omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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