guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
