Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
