The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
