I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize