she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
