Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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