When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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