After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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