I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
