I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I puked a lego.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
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