I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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