I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize