i can't believe i had my finger in that
im six kinds of drunk right now
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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