she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
