Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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