David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
