Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
