Have you finally orgasmed yet?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Randomize
