dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
ok first of all what the fuck
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
