Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
