If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
