Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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