I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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