You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Randomize
