Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
