you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I am mentally ready for anal.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
