im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
