do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
im holly from the hills drunk
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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