What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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