i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Randomize