Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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