My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Where did you get a picture of my penis
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
