he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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