I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
