my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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