I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
